Autobiography of a Yogi's Wife

Here the word Yogi could mean anything from "one who practices Yoga" to "one who is in Yoga".

Sister of SriGuru Babaji.

I have always felt that spiritual literature is incomplete without hearing the story of the "other half". Dedicating this article to all the yoginis, rishikas and rishi patnis.I owe my spiritual aspirations to my husband Adinarayanan.

I was born in a austere family that has a very strong action orientation. My younger brother and I had a happy childhood without any big worries. We have always got what we needed and those needs were simple ones. My parents had creative ways of reusing things and hence we bought new things only when absolutely necessary. I grew up with 20 plus cousins who were born in the same house and we were strongly bonded with each other and shared the resources of the house. Hence even now, any of my actions take into consideration a large number of people who are somehow connected with me.
Though there was a strong religious background there was not much of yogic background. Delving into deeper aspects of life and having the BIG questions was not encouraged much. Until the age of 12 I never read any spiritual books except knowing a few chapters of the Gita by heart.
When I was 13, I came to Madurai from Calcutta.  One of my close friends was guided by a Swami. The Swami used to visit their home frequently to offer spiritual discourses. My friend used to share those insights in class with me. That was my very first introduction to spiritual thoughts. We used to endlessly discuss the meaning of life and the purpose of actions. Looking back at them, those were childish discussion but still profound for that age. The aspiration to meditate was awakened though I did not actively pursue it.
I had not read anything about Swami Vivekananda but strongly influenced by his posters and what others told of him. So much so that I mentioned "SELF REALIZATION" as the goal of my life when I was asked by my class teacher in first year of engineering. I still remember the kind of look that my classmates gave me.

Again, there was nothing done to pursue yoga or anything spiritual. Back then , I believed in a self-made sadhak who stood on her own legs. Most of my college days just went discussing mundane things of engineering, going abroad for higher studies etc etc. However, there was an inherent rebellious desire to break free from all of these. Now I understand that it is called "mumukshutva". I practiced mouna vrata daily for 2 hours in the morning as a way of avoiding girly gossips with classmates.

I remember clearly well how i feel ill when i shook hands with one of my classmates. I understood that there was some kind of energy exchange while we shake hands and tried avoiding it ever since then. Even now I prefer a "Namaste" to handshake.At that point,  I had very less understanding of what life is all about but was sure it was not about money or achievements. Through practice and reading I now know the nuances of leading a life of detachment and fulfillment yet play it in full swing.

I got married to Adi in 2004 at the age of 24. Adi had come back from the US and was deeply interested in spirituality. Since the day I got married, I have seen him meditate every single day. Our initial days of marriage was not easy to handle. It wasn't difficult for us, but it was extremely difficult for others around us to fit us into their understanding. I understood that this is going to continue for many years until everyone accepts him for who he his. For the very practical people we are, we always worked towards things that would be of benefit to others around us.  The more Adi started spending on Yoga and meditation, the more phone calls I got enquiring if everything was okay with me, if our life was going on smooth etc etc. I was looked at with pity, sympathy and sometimes anger over my foolish choice. There have also been instances when people thought, as a wife I was a probably a hindrance to my husband sadhana. We understood that these views were more from experiences of their own life than their knowledge of our life. Thanks to Adi's support, I could view these comments objectively.

But we understood that this is the case with anyone who wants to lead a life beyond the mundane things. A CEO's wife would probably face the same questions. To me it was clear that our life together had a great possibility and if I get caught purely in the material aspect of life, it would be a disservice to all around us.The age old tamil saying that says "To Sita, Ayodhya is where Rama is" does not just mean geographically being there but working in unison to achieve a common purpose..physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Still young, both of us had charted out a grand plan for our lives and are on the right path though the details have changed from time to time. Even today we have designed our lives in such a way that only minimal management of things is required including cooking and investments.

In the hustle bustle of gruhastha life, I had many responsibilities to take care of. Many women do not go ahead on the spiritual path being bogged down by personal responsibilities.

When women have to do something different, they cannot break away from routine life and do it. They have to everything else PLUS their personal aspirations else they would looked at as irresponsible people. The same was with my spiritual Sadhana.  I learnt different aspects of Yoga and practiced them. I was amazed at the perfection I was able to achieve right from start as if I had a long association with Yogasanas.  Now its Sadhana + 2 children + research + phd +co-designing and developing workshops that Adi offers. There are many more ++. I shall spare you the details. These capabilities have not come out by carving out a separate divergent path for myself but working in unison with the vision of the family, though I do it in my own adventurous way.

Though we have "n" number of yogis and sadhaks, walking the spiritual path is not easy (not from our perspective but from the perspective of others). Supporting the other person fully is even more difficult. Our determination and conviction has helped us win the trust and support of family and friends.

If women move from just being a support to playing an active role like the wheel of a chariot, they would probably be much happier. I have been most joyous when I played an active role in Adi's spiritual path either in his meditation or lectures or readings or spiritual discussions at home. I would probably not feel the same if I just played a supportive role. The only thing that I see as important and fulfilling  in my life are the things that both of us participate. All other personal achievements seem less important mainly because they do not benefit others.